Do What You Love
The message of this video is perhaps the most important one you can share with your kids… do what you love! When you can help your children discover that magic place, you’ll notice many wonderful things happen.
- They have an outlet for their special, unique gifts
- They increase their self-esteem
- As a result, all areas of life generally tend to improve
The road to ‘do what you love‘ is almost always a journey of exploration. Because this video was taken back in August 2008, we’ve already gone through the ‘dancing’ phase. For various reasons, our experience wasn’t what you might call a success. Ambrosia still loves to dance along with her ‘Princess’ movies. At five years old, she wasn’t quite ready for the discipline of learning routines and following structure in a group setting. However, Maggie and I now know better what to look for in helping our girls find appropriate activities suited to their specific needs and talents.
Do What You Love, Phase One – Observe
One of the biggest errors parents make is picking activities for their children based on things they wished they had done in their own childhood. I’ve been teaching private music lessons for nearly four decades. It always makes me sad to see parents dragging their child in for piano lessons without seeing if there is any interest. “I never had the opportunity to do this when I was young and – by golly – you’re gonna get the chance,” they seem to be telling their kids.
When I ask parents about their child’s interests, they often give me a blank stare as if to say, “What does this matter? I’m paying the bill; I choose the activity!”
Another mistake I see is when parents attempt to substitute an activity that a child enjoys and has talent in for another more ‘productive’ pursuit. I once had a student who was clearly gifted in art. However, her mom perceived the drawings as nothing more than time-wasting ‘doodling daydreams’. It took over three years to convince the mother that her time and money was better invested in art lessons as her daughter had absolutely no aptitude and very little interest in piano. Happily, today the girl is a very successful graphic artist.
Do What You Love, Phase Two – Explore and Expose
Image via Wikipedia
Every child is different. Some kids are extremely quiet and shy. It’s hard to observe what they enjoy because they keep to themselves so much. On the other hand, you can have children who are not only interested, but appear to be good at so many things. It’s hard to choose just one or two.
Having said that, in either case I advise parents to have a game plan. If a child’s talents and interests naturally gravitate towards one particular activity, then your job is easy. Most of the time however, you’ll have to prime the pump by picking an activity for your introverted child, or by helping your multi-talented kid to narrow down the possibilities. By sticking to one main activity, and certainly no more than two per week, your child will get the most out of the experience.
This is even more important in families where there are two or more kids. Juggling multiple schedules can very quickly get out of hand with over-commitment. With homework taking up more and more of children’s lives these days, you want to pick one and no more than two extra-curricular activities that allow children to explore opportunities while still having a life.
Do What You Love, Phase Three – Enrich
Image via Wikipedia
By age 8 to 9, a child should be able to show more preference. While parents may start their children with a balance of physical and mental activities, kids at this age will begin to lean more towards one or the other. The main difference between this stage as opposed to the explore and expose phase is that rather than a mere introduction, kids can delve deeper into the subject matter. Often, this is the true test of interest and passion because it requires work to dig below the surface and come up with treasures.
This is a good time to teach your child about commitment. Parents will often make their own sacrifices at this point, investing in musical instruments, special equipment for sporting activities, and advanced lesson arrangements. It is fair to expect that a child will learn to appreciate the role of the parents by making an effort to practice and prepare themselves to the best of their abilities.
Do What You Love, Phase Four – Excel
Image via Wikipedia
By pre-teens, many childrens’ talents are blossoming. It is becoming clearly evident where their natural strengths and interests lie. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that your child will make a career out of any one particular activity at this stage. In my 37 years of teaching private music lessons, only a handful out of the hundreds I taught have gone on to careers in music, whether in performance or teaching.
Does that mean I failed as a teacher for not producing more music proteges? Absolutely not! It’s interesting to note that many professionals including doctors, lawyers, and accountants give credit to participating in sports and/or artistic disciplines for their later success. What they gained in terms of focus, commitment and a raft of other ’soft’ skills were easily transferred to their ultimate chosen professions.
Do What You Love – Conclusion
Remember to stay child-focused during all phases. Your job as a parent is to assist your children through their development years, not to relive your own life through them. Keep in mind what’s best for THEM as you:
- Observe
- Explore and Expose
- Enrich
- Excel
In the end, you’ll have raised a fine young adult who can stand strong on his/her own accomplishments while you point with pride, “Yup… that’s my kid!” You gotta Love That Feeling!
