Demotivate Yourself Now

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#1: Throw Yourself a Pity-Party

Well, we’ve finally counted down to #1 in our top five ways to demotivate yourself. You’ve worked hard to get people to leave you alone.

You hung out with the losers; now they’re all dead, in jail or out finding some other sucker to mooch from because you certainly don’t have anything they want or need.

As for the few go-getters you used to know, well they got tired pretty quick of your feeble attempts to hold them back at your level. They found other successful people to emulate and upon whom they could depend for support. ‘Birds of a feather‘, you know.

You have nothing to look forward to because you stopped setting goals a long time ago. Those things only work for ruthless people and dope dealers. You are neither. In fact, you are nothing.

Have nothing.

Do nothing.

Be nothing.

The only thing you’ve got to show for your life is a long list of excuses. You should be proud though because with all your justifications and rationalizations, you successfully have managed to repel and sabotage any glimpse of success that may have ever come your way.

Congratulations.

It’s party time!

The Prophecy Is Fulfilled

Except for one thing. You’ll be drinking alone… out of an empty bottle.

You’ll be sleeping alone tonight, too.

And they said it was lonely at the top? Ha!

You see, my friend, you are experiencing a self-fulfilling prophecy. As within, so without. Because you never felt good enough, smart enough, worthy enough or even likable enough, your outside circumstances now project and magnify your pitiful inner sanctum for all the world to see.

The good news is that this isn’t the end of the trail for you. Oh, no – not by a long shot. As time goes by you’ll feel more like a victim, focusing your vengeance on all the people who have crossed and cheated you in life. Think of the anger, jealousy, bitterness and rage you’ll enjoy as you sit there alone at your pity-party. Just contemplating these thoughts is a quick and sure way to demotivate yourself.

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So there they are folks, the top five ways to demotivate yourself. Your life is now a tangled mess of despair and hopelessness.

If you find the lack of companionship to be too much, repeat the five steps over and over. Somebody is bound to join you sooner or later. After all, misery loves company.

For your convenience, here are all five steps again:

#5 – Hang Out With Low Achievers

#4 – Cutting Down Achievers Makes You Appear Bigger

#3 – Stop Setting Goals

#2 – Look for Reasons NOT to Do Something

#1 – Throw Yourself a Pity-Party

Think of it as a public service. If you don’t help keep your family and friends down to your comfy level, they may go out and accomplish something – perhaps a long-held dream. And where would that leave you?

So get out there and share demotivation now! Rescue your friends from a life of happiness, success and fulfillment before it’s too late.

Note: Remember, this is a backwards, sarcastic way to look at motivation by taking the path of least resistance to demotivate yourself. You may want to go back to the first article in this series to truly appreciate the ‘humor’ of seeing motivation this way.