Are You Neat or Are You Clean? -

Hello there! If you are new here, you might want to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this topic.

Neat vs. Clean – Which One Are You?

Throughout this blog I delight in enumerating the many contrasts between myself and my family members, much to their dismay. I guess you could say, that in itself is yet another contrast.

Today’s topic is, “Are You Neat or Are You Clean?” I’m neat. And as you correctly guessed, Maggie is clean. In fact, all three of my ladies are clean.

You might argue that this might be more of a complement, based on our definition from a previous post. That would only be true if we actually fulfilled each others’ needs and shortcomings. In reality however, these differences often become the proverbial ‘cap-off-the-toothpaste’, where little things quickly become magnified out of proportion.

In any case, let’s explore the differences between neat and clean.

Who Said Mr. Clean Was a Really Neat Guy?

I used to have cats… seven in all, but at one time I had as many as five in the house. I love telling my ladies stories about how my cats would eat off my plate; how we would share snacks while watching TV; how my cats would affectionately ‘kiss’ me by licking my face.

‘Clean’ people freak out over this stuff. I just love to get that reaction, “EEEWWWWWWW!!!”

If food lands on the floor, I’m good. Oh, if it collected a fuzz ball or two, sure I’ll rinse it off. But if I don’t detect anything on my initial instantaneous inspection, down the hatch we go.

Double dipping? No problemo. Like George says in the above video, “You dip the way you want to dip; I’ll dip the way I want to dip!”

“EEEWWWWWWW!!!”, cries my step-daughter.

This is the same girl who once threw a full jar of Vaseline away just because the lid fell in the wastebasket in her washroom. That ain’t clean… that’s paranoid clean!

Toilet brush has a little rust? TRASH!

Apple has a little spot? The entire thing is garbage!

(I won’t spell out my reaction to those things. Family show, you know.)

Clean freaks notice spots and crumbs. Entire table settings get rearranged to make sure all the spots and crumbs are removed before resuming our repast.

The little one can’t eat a meal without her wet cloth. Eating anything with her hands causes distress. Me? Hey, they don’t call it finger-lickin’-good for nothing.

Here’s my question? Where do all these clean freaks go when it’s time to do the dishes? When push comes to shove, my ladies will clean the dishes… eventually. However, drying and putting them away is another thing entirely.

That’s where I come in. Remember, I’m neat. I can’t stand clutter. For me, it’s not so much that the dishes are dirty; rather they represent yet another stack of clutter that’s out of place. That literally drives me nuts.

It’s nothing for my ‘clean‘ freaks to leave a trail of personal items around the house to mark where they’ve been. Books, clothing, slippers and used Kleenex are among the more popular items. That’s because they’re clean but not necessarily neat.

Continuous and constant contrast creates chaos and eventually conflict.

And to think I didn’t know the difference between alliteration and literacy back when I was in school.

But I digress…

OK, so I’m not squeaky-toy clean. I delight in grossing out my ladies the odd time.

I’m not saying that being a neat-freak is all that great either. Here’s a classic example.

All three of my ladies are pleasers and givers. I truly admire - even envy – them for that beautiful characteristic. My little one especially loves to give through her drawings. She just lights up when she gives away her latest project only to hear the lucky recipient “Ooohhh” and “Aaahhh”! This single act of kindness, which she does ever so naturally, fills her most basic need… to be loved, she gives love through her pictures.

Now what kind of cold-hearted person would deny a child the right to give of herself so innocently?

Did you guess Mr. Neat-Freak-Anti-Clutter?

If you did, you win the prize!

“Boo… BOO… hiss”, I hear you say.

And rightly so. I do the same thing with clutter that my clean-freak ladies do with spots and crumbs. I eliminate them pronto.

However, in my defense, when you get 10 or MORE of these little art ‘treasures’ every day, they do add up to clutter quickly. Even Maggie agrees, that isn’t so neat.

Which brings us back to the word I called the ‘Savior of Contrasts’: Balance.

You see, I too have my secret stash of clutter. I collect books and information, especially the ebook variety. While I’ll argue that there isn’t any visible clutter piled up in the corners and crevices of my house, I have to admit that there’s still a log-jam of material, much of which I will never get to. Still I cling to it.

I think that’s true of most of us. We are all neat and clean; or is that clean and neat? We only realize which one we are when we see ourselves in the mirror of our contrasting partners.

Now let’s see if I get to keep my neat smile beyond tonight.